When I went to college, I attended a junior college near home for one year, then transferred and lived away from home. I didn’t come back home to live until after I got married. My husband and I lived with my parents for one year while saving money to buy our first house. Living with my parents as an adult was difficult, to put it mildly. Honestly, I don’t recommend it.

Now as a parent, as much as I enjoy my children, I know that it is better for them to live on their own as an adult when they finish college. Several of my friends have children coming home to live after graduating from college this year while looking for their first job. We’ve been talking about the change in the relationship with our adult children.

We’ve been moms to our kids as minors for 18 years  It would be easy to gravitate back to treating our adult children as we did when they were little. It ain’t going to work.

It takes intentionality to treat our adult children differently.

I am still learning this. I catch myself saying silly things to my 22-year-old son like, “It’s time to go to bed,” or “Don’t forget your wallet.”  Does he really need me to tell him things like that??

As my children become independent, I am becoming the same – to be independent to be just me and not operate in mom mode.

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