stored in: 2020


At church yesterday:

Friend: Are you guys free today? Want to invite you and your husband over.

Me: Aren’t you watching the Superbowl?

Friend: I just found out who is playing.

Me: I don’t even know who’s playing. Sure, we’re free.

We had talked about going to his house to look at his landscape. I was wondering if it was an invitation for dinner. When I ask someone to come over, it’s usually for a meal.

Friend: Great, we can chat over coffee and dessert or something. How about 2ish?

I’ve never had anyone over without a meal. And it was really a lovely time talking over a cup of soup (because I don’t drink coffee.)

I took it that we are not invited for dinner, so at 4:30 I said it’s time to go. He said, “Oh it’s still early. Stay longer.” At 5:00 we got up to leave and we said good bye.

It was hard to know the social decorum in that situation. Was 5:00 too late? Was it part of the game of being polite to say that 4:30 was still early? Should I have just left then? I don’t really know how to play this game. They are good friends but I’ve never done this before.

But now I know I can invite someone over to chat without inviting them for a meal. It was so nice to spend a couple hours together without the stress of preparing a meal. I didn’t mind at all that I wasn’t there for a meal. The conversation and sharing was satisfying enough.

But I also wonder what I would do if they don’t leave? I would want them to leave before I have to go cook dinner. Do I then have to ask them to stay for dinner? But I wouldn’t have had anything prepared.

It’d be better if I had an excuse like “I have to leave at 5:30, are you free to come for coffee before that?”

That means I can only invite someone over for coffee if I had actual plans later so I wouldn’t be lying.

Life is difficult.


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