stored in: 2019

I’ve not heard of this term of being “woke” or “wokeness” until I read this. Very well written. It makes me want to cry.

I’ve been feeling “off” the last couple days. Yesterday, I couldn’t remember my routine for going to prayer meeting – something I go to every Wednesday. What time do I normally leave the house? Where do I usually park? Where did I put my gloves? Where are my keys? I pride myself on remembering people, names and details. Right now I feel like my brain is mush. I remember things but it’s like a fog. It’s not that I don’t remember anything, it’s a strange feeling I don’t know how to describe. Then I worried that I have a stroke or a blood clot or something…which then the worrying makes me anxious…and the anxiety makes me unable to think…and I worry that I can’t think…it’s a vicious cycle. Thank God for sleep. Now I know why God created our need and ability to sleep. His mercies are new every morning. Each day is a new day. I don’t have to continue to worry. I can sleep and rest, and refocus my trust in the God of the universe.

On the positive note, I bought some floral wire on Amazon, it’ll be delivered tomorrow. I’m excited to make a wreath. Watched some how-to videos on YouTube. I need something creative to do. I think I’ll go to Michael’s for fun. Have not been there for a while, afraid that I would spend money on a project that I won’t finish. I’ve been too serious lately, too much thinking…I wonder if I would be relaxed if I was retired. But I love my job and I would volunteer anyway. But a volunteer can always punt it to the children’s director…which is me right now…

A big part of my digestion problem is anxiety. I noticed that my acid reflux has been ok until yesterday when I got worried about my brain. So silly. Need to spend time with God instead of online shopping on Amazon and Nordstrom Rack! And I don’t even like shopping, but that’s not really shopping, is it?

Heavy rain today. So don’t tell me to take short showers because of drought.

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