So I called Verizon online services:
“I am not getting any internet connection.”

“What version of Windows do you have?

“I don’t know.”

“Do you see the Start button on the lower left corner of your screen?”

“Duh, yeah.”

“What color is it?”

“Green.”

“OK, you have Windows XP, the latest version.”

“Oh, that’s good to know.”

“Do you see your modem?”

“Sure, yeah.”

“Which lights are on and which lights are not on?”

“OMG! None of the lights are on!”

“Is the power light on?”

“OK, I get it.”

“Trace the line to the plug and make sure it’s plugged in.”

“OK. I GOT IT!”

That was stupid, wasn’t it???

The guy was really nice. He must have been trained to deal with people like me.

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