We can function and live a decent life, even active in the church, “serving God”, and even do a good job in vocational ministry, yet have no real fellowship with God.

But I find that if I go weeks without focused prayer (merely surviving on quick prayers and public prayers that are usually impersonal), holes begin to show.

I act out of my own view of what is best, rather than seeking God’s best. I go with the pragmatic rather than what glorifies God. I choose ministries based on personal satisfaction rather than for the sake of the gospel. I lack true compassion and don’t see people as God sees them.

It really helps me when I see other people genuine in their faith and radiating a life of intimacy with God. I don’t know how to explain it, but some people are “spiritual” without sounding spiritual. They exude a life of faith without being forced somehow.

I don’t know how I appear to other people, I hope I inspire others. But often I find myself short, because I am lacking in my intimate times with God. And once again I go to the Cross, and ask to be filled with the mind of Christ.

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