Nagging is so satisfying because you feel like you are doing something productive to get the work done.
You want the trash taken out by your son, and he doesn’t. So you nag him. It gives you a sense of satisfaction to think that he will take the trash out now that you’ve nagged him. Nagging gives the feeling that you have control over him and over the trash situation.
But does nagging actually work?
Does he take the trash out after you nagged him? Probably not.
Nagging does not accomplish your objective. In fact, it is probably counter productive to your goal.
If your goal is to have the trash taken out, you can take it out yourself and maintain full control of the situation. You’re done.
If your goal is to teach your son the responsibility of doing chores, nagging teaches him to be irresponsible. In fact, it teaches him to tune you out, and resent you.
So I am trying not to nag at my kids, my husband, or anyone. It does not get me what I want, and does nothing but drive them away.
May 20th, 2007 at 10:03 pm
I don’t consider it nagging unless they don’t do it. To me, its a parental order that the kids should obey within the time limit given. A parent has to pick their battles, you can’t give orders for everything.
May 21st, 2007 at 9:56 am
A parent has to pick their battles, you can’t give orders for everything.
I agree with that.
M-W.com defines the nag that I want to avoid:
Etymology: probably of Scandinavian origin; akin to Old Norse nagga to moan, complain
intransitive verb
1 : to find fault incessantly : COMPLAIN
2 : to be a persistent source of annoyance or distraction
transitive verb
1 : to irritate by constant scolding or urging