stored in: 2019

My son married after a relatively short dating period.

I asked him if he wanted more time to go out on dates and have fun as a couple.

He said, “Isn’t it better to date after marriage?”

He’s right. And they are having fun dates now. I’m proud of him that he treats his wife well.

Now I give this advice to dating couples. Don’t worry about having fun on dates. Don’t try to impress each other.┬áBe very intentional to find out if you are compatible for marriage. Explore every topic. If you’re right for each other, get marry. Then try to impress each other with your best self, go on fun dates.

I learn from my son that dating after marriage, rather than before, is the right order in a relationship.


A day of meetings today, but all good. Funny, yet not so funny, that we spent an hour last week and an hour today talking about the tradition of the servant appreciation lunch. Glad we came to a decision to cancel it for next year because the meaning has been lost.

Traditions tend to be that way. It reflects the culture of the people who started it. It had context with circumstances that made it meaningful. But the demographics of people has change, circumstances has changed. Unless the tradition continues to carry significance, then it is just a nice activity. There are many nice activities in a church. Some people just want nice activities and are emotionally attached to them. A church should only do the things that contributes to it’s gospel focus, not for some sentimental purpose to recreate what was significant in the past. Those people will be disappointed and will complain that their best effort is not what it used to be.

We need to be discerning that even some small groups or other sacred sounding activity that carry the name of being gospel-centered might have evolved to be another nice activity. I believe in stopping and starting new things because the cycle of stopping and starting fresh promotes church renewal and keeps it from being stuck in the past. My former church was stuck and couldn’t change. I sadly had to leave it.

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